Is my friend being a Bridezilla?

She did not choose me as a bridesmaid, but she did ask me to be her assistant for the day. We have known each other for a long time, so I said yes.





So far she has asked me to buy a specific dress, picked out the accessories including the shoes and pantyhose. The day of the wedding she has asked me to do her makeup, style her hair, give her a pedicure and give her a massage. This seems a bit excessive. I know that her and her husband are a bit tight on money, but I feel like a servant more than a friend.





However, I do not want to say anything or make her upset. Another friend told me to suck it up.

Is my friend being a Bridezilla?
It may be her special day, but she%26#039;s treating you like a dog. Wedding assistants help organize the ceremony. They don%26#039;t give pedicures, massages, etc., etc., etc. Tell her you have boundaries and that there are some things you%26#039;re not comfortable doing. A pedicure? Ish!
Reply:i wouldn%26#039;t suck it up! screw that y should u be her ***** when she cant even make u a bridesmaid.obviously ur are not that close. brat!!!
Reply:Tell her you%26#039;re very flattered, but you%26#039;re just not qualified to do hair, makeup and massages, and it wouldn%26#039;t be fair to her to let a non-professional do those things for her. Tell her she deserves to look perfect and you%26#039;re just not skilled enough for that.
Reply:It sounds like you are being taken serious advantage of! You%26#039;re not good enough to be in her wedding, but you are good enough to rub her feet?





I%26#039;d tell her to bugger off, and find someone else to do her dirty work!
Reply:She%26#039;s being excessive. BUT you did volunteer. Should have probably asked her up front what sort of duties this entailed.





I do thinks its unreasonable to expect a massage. Hello, I did 95% of the work that went into my OWN wedding. Sheesh. A bit into herself.
Reply:Tell her to go to H*ll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:I%26#039;m assuming you%26#039;re a licenced beautician/esthetician who can do all these services for her. I wouldn%26#039;t worry too much about it, but I%26#039;d make THAT be my wedding gift to her. I can%26#039;t imagine why she would want just anyone doing all that for her on her wedding day.





And it%26#039;s seems like she%26#039;s a bit of a control freak if you%26#039;re not in the wedding, and she%26#039;s dictating what you%26#039;re wearing to the wedding. I don%26#039;t know if that qualifies as Bridezilla, but it%26#039;s awfully close!!!
Reply:She does not sound like a friend. She is expecting way too much from you---give her a pedicure, give her a massage???? Give me a break!!!!
Reply:No, this is your fault for allowing her to take advantage of you. She probably assumes you like it. If she was being mean or asking you to do crazy things and not taking no for an answer, I%26#039;d say she was being a bridezilla. I think she%26#039;s expecting too much from a friend, but you should have stood up for yourself. Tell her you feel like you%26#039;re being taken advantage of. If she wants an %26quot;assistant%26quot;, she can hire one.
Reply:I%26#039;d draw the line at the pedicure/massage!


That is asking a little too much!!
Reply:i don%26#039;t see why you wouldn%26#039;t want to help her out????





help your friend out.. if you don%26#039;t want to be her assistant tell her right away so she can find someone to help her
Reply:FYI... those things are the Maid of Honor%26#039;s responcibility. They are the one who is supposed to be in charge of ALL the details.





I would charge for these services. She is taking way too much advantage of your friendship. At the very least... I would hire a massuse to come and do her massage and call it a wedding gift.





No way would I do all that junk for her. Tell her to get lost.





Tight on money or not, I think what she is asking of you is excessive too. Make some excuse about why you cannot be there early for the wedding but that you can make it to the reception. Let her know that you don%26#039;t appreciate what she is asking you to do by speaking with your feet. Just don%26#039;t show up to the wedding. I would be insulted if someone asked me to do those personal things for them like I was some hired hand not good enough to be in their wedding.





The ones telling you to suck it up... can suck it up themselves and step up to take your place. I bet NOT ONE of them would do it. Are these people REALLY your friends??? Hmmm... I would give that one some thought.
Reply:I was in the same situation. I was not asked to be in the wedding, but I was the %26quot;gofer%26quot; person. I was the one who threw her bridal shower, I was the one who helped her do prepwork, I was the runner back and forth from the bridal room to get things because the bridesmaids were also getting dressed. She also got married on my %26quot;grande birthday%26quot; 30 yrs. old on the 30th. She walked out from the shower because she didn%26#039;t like the game. Never got a thank you or anything. She sent me a thank you note from their honeymoon in Hawaii, but never in person. She also dedicated a song to HB and I and we danced at her wedding. It is on her wedding video. They even brought me out a birthday cake to my table at the reception, so I guess they made up for it.


My suggestion is to suck it up as your friends have said. It will all blow over and subside as soon as she walks down the isle.
Reply:it seems like she trusts you enough to let you help in choosing what to wear, as far as a pedi she could of had that done cheap. maybe you should ask her why your not a bridesmaid your are her best friend right?


is there some kind of aggression she feels toward you?
Reply:Why would a personal assistant need to buy a dress and shoes?





I would never give someone a pedicure, unless of course it was my profession. That is absurd. Giving a massage is weird too.





If you really feel bad about it, don%26#039;t do it.
Reply:Picking out what you wear...ok, I can see that. A pedicure and massage...hell no. She needs to go to a spa or salon for that. I would be like EWEEEW I am not giving you a pedicure and I am not a massage therapist. That is weird!
Reply:I would price the hairstyling, makeup and massage and consider getting it done for her as a wedding present..





If a bride asks someone to be their assistant for the day it should be like


- can you make sure everyone brings their bouquets, the wedding programs, the unity candles, etc


-can you carry the emergency tote bag and stay nearby in case I need help with a bobby pin or my train or something


-can you be ready to relay information betwen family members or members of the bridal party





NOT can you be my slave and pamper me all day when you are not a professional providing a paid for service.. she also should not be forcing you to wear a certain dress..





IMHO, this is not a nice person.. or someone who is so spoiled they think the world is all about them.. not a bridezilla, I bet she is always like this and you never noticed..
Reply:I WOULD TALK TO HER, LET HER KNOW THAT THATS A LITTLE OBSESIVE. OR IN A JOKING MANNER LET HER KNOW THAT SHE IS GOING TO FAR. WHEN SHE TELLS YOU WHAT SHE WANTS YOU TELL HER WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO DO. WITH A SMILE
Reply:Well, it depends. Brides are CRAZY women. If this is excessive for her, then yes...it seems a little much. If not, just go with it.





Personally, I would have said no way to the pedicure and massage. Especially if you had to pay for the dress and accessories. That%26#039;s just too much...
Reply:Hair and make up...ok, thats fun girl-y stuff...but pedicure and massage crosses a line in my books.





I suggest you give her a gift certificate to a spa as a gift for some party in advance of the wedding so you can avoid waiting on her hand and foot. Or you stall on the big day, so she won%26#039;t have time for that.
Reply:It sounds like she is being mean to me. If you are her friend, you should be enjoying this stuff with her, not doing it for her. Say something to her, you don%26#039;t have to say it in a mean way. Tell her that you feel like you will be doing so much for her and not enjoying the day with her. A bride is supposed to feel special on her wedding day but not at the expense of any ones feelings.
Reply:i recommend sucking it up in the meantime and after the wedding and her stressed is less she should acknowledge your help. if she doesn%26#039;t cut her loose.
Reply:Just be a good friend and be there for her. She will greatly appreciate it.
Reply:Well I think the bride has it a little wrong but being a personal attendant or a lady in waiting is a way to inculde you in the bridal party. however she doesn%26#039;t have any say in what you are to wear because you will not be included in the pics. nor are you billed for bridal party. You are to work with the maid of honor together . and yes help with hair and decorations dresses the day of But a pedicure? I think not.



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